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Two dates where I was probably settling, compromising and giving in, just to go on dates. Not at all, they were perfectly normal, fine people, just not the match for me. It’s literally a 40 minute survey asking you the same question 37 different ways. First thing you have to do is fill out the SATs of online dating. That’s always kind of awkward when you’re supposed to be “working”. You’re going to continue reading without telling any of your hot female co-workers? I had some other titles in work for this blog, but they just didn’t capture the essence of what I was trying to say. A “computer” matches you up based on “29 levels of compatibility”, which I’m fine with. Because you’re thinking, wow some super computer down at Eharmony headquarters is crunching vectors and differential equations just to find my perfect mate, and everyday you log in and see new matches, that you think are hand picked from the computer gods above. I mean, I feel bad if you’re at work right now reading this, and the biggest letters on your screen involve the words FUCK YOU. So after you completed their riddles and questions, you then can start receiving “matches”, hurray!
Where basically it’s a small win chance per girl, but cumulative the win chance becomes greater with each girl added to the pool. You know your chances of winning are slim to none, but that doesn’t mean you throw away the lottery ticket.I know right, how ridiculous is it to be “communicating” with 50 different girls all at the same time, all waiting for them to respond. What’s most upsetting about this shenanigans is that I am waiting for 748 girls to get back to me, with stage 1 questions.The multiple choice questions have to be picked from a provided list and the answers are already provided. Apparently girls need months and months before then can decide that they want to respond back to me with these tough hitting question?Because I know about cumulative binomial probability. I actually posted this question to eharmony on their facebook wall. I have no idea why my matches don’t just close out the match if they’re not interested.
In any case, I’m baffled as to why girls just don’t close out the match if they’re not interested. What’s more likely is eharmony never deletes accounts, so I’m matched with girls that joined for the free weekend 6 months ago, and don’t even know they have a message from me in their queue.
At least that’s what I tell myself, so I can sleep at night.